Saturday, August 28, 2010

My PCOS rant (pre Atkins jitters)

I found out I had PCOS in 2005 after suffering two miscarriages.

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common female endocrine disorders affecting approximately 5%-10% of women of reproductive age (12–45 years old) and is thought to be one of the leading causes of female infertility.

The principal features are obesity, anovulation (resulting in irregular menstruation) or amenorrhea, acne, and excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among women. While the causes are unknown, insulin resistance, diabetes, and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS. -wikipedia-

My own personal symptoms were:
  • irregular periods
  • excess facial hair (sideburns, upper lip, after the pill chin hair)
  • thin, weak hair which was always breaking and shedding excessively
  • sudden and excessive weight gain ( from 127lb to 155lb in about a year)
  • infertility (when I and my hubby were ready for children)
It is truly something to live with something not everybody knows anything about. People look at me like, "how did you get so fat?" "Man, she really let herself go!" or whatever it is. Most people I know never go to the gym and don't really watch what they eat yet they pretty much fluctuate only between 5 and 10 pounds. If I eat the same thing they do, I can gain 15lb in 6 months.

Being this way is really tiring.
My hair journey (since April 2009) was my escape from PCOS. I knew PCOS had something to do with my hair being the way it was but I refused to believe that if I took care of it PCOS would still be an obstacle.

From the beginning of my journey, my hair made leaps of progress even though I was still battling PCOS. But I have recently come to find out that my PCOS was resting to come at me strong. My breakage/excessive shedding of last fall was PCOS coming back to make my life miserable again.
I had been working out and watching what I ate since my son was born (but mainly working out with no specific diet plan). Yes, after 2 miscarriages, I was blessed with 2 back to back successful pregnancies, and I have 2 beautiful children. After that, for almost 2 years, I had not gained any weight. I was still trying to figure out my meals to be able to lose weight, but that was not easy. I was still grateful that I wasn't gaining. Well, that was short lived...

I had a gallbladder operation in September 2009. I went back to working out soon after (1 month). I weighed myself at 161 lbs around my birthday (Oct '09). Worked out moderately until New Years and then more intensely between January and June (I had a wedding in June) and I gained 15 lbs.
Right now, I'm at 176 lbs struggling to make sense of it all. I have stopped working out because I am so discouraged.

I'm supposed to start the Atkins diet soon with my hubby but I don't really believe it's going to work. I'm going in without faith. I am setting myself up for failure.
I am posting this to let it all out. I am not one to give up that easily, but after so many years of struggling, I have to admit it has affect me psychologically. I am insecure.

I pray for God's strength. I cannot take one more failure. I will not be overweight forever. I will not reach 200lbs EVER. Please Lord help me understand what my body needs to be healthy.

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